..do you like this poem??

Question

i just wrotee this...any suggestions? im 11&&just started poetry.

Be happy.

Be grateful.

Take in the moment.

Remember the details.

At all those awkward moments.

Angry times.

And when you think the last thing you will be doing is smiling.

Smile.

Laugh.

Be careless.

Just remember tomorrow will be a better day.

Things could be worse.

There aren’t many of these moments.

You can’t relive it once it’s over.

But you can make more.

Enjoy life…

Make friends.

Fall in love.

Life isn’t short.

It’s just beginning.

:].

Answer 1

I like it. I could kind of see it as a song theme, though I dont think the lines would be long enough for lyrics.

I think if you put 'ands' in there it would sound weird. If you have more,  I would like to hear them. I love poetry

Answer 2

It's good and very positive! =]

Answer 3

cute but it seems too happy xD

Answer 4

so happy and cute =)

Answer 5

i love it. if i was you i would post it on some website were people could see it and i am sure a lot of them would use it =]

Answer 6

Every sentence ends with a period, which makes it choppy. Trying adding some 'and's or commas even. The stanzas aren't all the same amount of lines, which I'm picky about. The subject is good, I would like to see it portrayed in a better way, some lines are too long compared to how short you make the rest. Jus tune it up a bit, even it out. Keep writing.

Answer 7

I'm a bit of a cynic and I thought you had a point with the second to last line, and I think it was quite good for how young you are.  However, it was overly optimistic, which may also reflect your age.  Not to say that there's anything wrong with being 11.

Answer 8

Oh it was CUTE !!I like the meaning of it.

your only 11???

gosh your good.

Answer 9

It's cute. It really reflects your age. The commas do make it very choppy though. For my liking it was way to cheerful. Not that i like depressing poems, but you made life sound like a bunch of butterflies and yellow flowers. Just tune the poem up a bite and it will be fine. Keep writing.