? for poeple that have 3 or more siblings.?

Question

My husband and I are just thinking about having a fourth child. I love kids esp. mine. I've always wanted a lot of children and after 3 we are considering a 4th. I want to have a strong connection to each of my children. After the 3rd I found it difficult to pay special attention to my first 2. It is much better now that she has turned 1, I only felt this way while she was a newborn. Now I think I may want another, but I don't ever want any of my kids to feel left out. For those of you that have 3 or more siblings, were you ever jealous? Did you ever not have enough attention? Were you ever resentful of your siblings? I'm most concerned for my oldest. He is 9. I know it is probably not reasonable, but I just don't want him to think that he wasn't enough. I love the relationship that my kids have with each other as well. Thanks for your help!

Answer 1

as the last of 6 having 3 sisters and a mother - and my father and brothers doing there best to keep out the firing range i was quite a sitting target and got ganged up on.

my mother doesnt remember our names having even been called my sisters names on occasions and the fact my mother made it clear in a statement she doesnt acnowledge we are individuals and should be treated thus.

i wont go on.

females equal warfare - stop with one and dont chance a second.

IF you are thinking of having another kid try asking your kids straight - point out you cant choose a boy/girl. give them time to think before saying if they are for it or against it.

i get on fine with my dad and the best family relationship is with one of my brothers - the rest i put up with.

Answer 2

I have 3 sisters.  I was 2nd born.  I have vague memories of my sisters being born but I remember thinking my mom was a miracle worker, a magician and AMAZING.  To this day, my sisters are the best thing I've ever been given.... except for the ones I gave myself.

That being said, I think once you've had 3, to h**l with it.  You can handle 10.  I don't know anyone who has more than 4 that has said differently.

Regardless, the best part is that kids are the most adaptable people on earth.  You're 9 year old will be fine.  Plus, your house is about to become the best house to visit.  All my friends said that about my house when I was young.

Answer 3

I have a brother and a sister and we are super close to each other!! My parents always made sure we were all treated equal! Now that im older i have 3 kids of my own and plan on having one more in a couple of years, so i would say have another one!

Answer 4

I am the 2nd of 4 children and I can give some insight if you like.

My parents spaced us out pretty good with the hopes that we would be more "independent" and it would impact us less to have a new baby in the house.

When the youngest (a girl) was born we were:

Boy:  almost 5

Me:   nearly 9

Girl:  just turned 12

My older sister and I were often asked to watch my brother and baby sister.  And, because my little sister was the youngest by so much, we were all pretty jealous that she got to have all new things.  I was particularly jealous because while I got hand-me-downs, my older sister and little brother both got new stuff because of being the oldest and the only boy.  

I can recall that I felt very "out of place" being the oldest of the middle children and the middle girl.  I kind of felt like I was the one that flew under the radar most of the time.  My oldest sister was the "guinea pig" child.  I followed suit for the most part.  My brother way the only boy so he got lots of one-on-one with our dad.  And then my mom had her baby.

Then we found out that she had some special needs that required additional attention. . . so anything we were getting got pushed further back on the burner so that she could get all the assistance she needed.  Not that I mind now, but when you're 10-11 years old, it's a big deal to have to compete against that for attention.

Answer 5

Well I'm the oldest of 4 kids. I'm 22, there is 9,11 and 13 years between me and my siblings so ya there was some jealousy. But honestly at the end of the day i love them so much! The age difference being how it is i do sometimes look at them and wish i had the stuff they have when i was there age, but i understand my parents financial situation has changed since i was younger. When they were little i always would say "i bet you wont make "sibling" do that when she is my age" or  "you'll probably be more lenient with "sibling" when he is my age" But again in all honesty my parents have been pretty darn consistent with they way they brought and are bring up us kids. I know and knew when each baby was born that my parents love for me never changed.

Answer 6

My husband had 6 siblings and he is smack in the middle. He always felt left out because the youngest tends to need more attention no matter how you get around it. But that was a crazy amount of kids, 4 might be more manageable!  

Answer 7

I was the youngest of four, we laughed, cried, played,

and faught together.  Wouldn't change a second of it.

Go ahead and have another child (or two).  Your kids

will be just fine.