♥ Military Families?

Question

Does this video make you sad or cry?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vaGmeFhqEpk

My husband is in Iraq right now fighting for our country. I don't support the war but I support our troops 100%. We have a daughter that is almost two and twins on the way. How do you deal with deployment? It is my first time and its been really hard. How do the kids handle it? Is their anything you do with the kids that help them?

Thanks for the answers

Answer 1

On my last deployment my step daughter was 3 1/3, my husband and I had been married for 7 months and had only spent maybe 2 weeks together.  From that view, he misses you, he misses your children, he thinks about you daily.  

After 4 years I got out of the military, and my husbands for my husbands first deployment after I got our we had 3 kids (his daughter who was 7, and our 2 daughter ages 2 1/2 and 2 weeks.)  It was a very different experience than being the one going.  I was already emotional from having a baby, I literally cried when I spilled my milk on myself and that was before he left LOL.  After he left I set up goals for myself.  He left in October, so I made plans to go home for the holidays.  I was "home" for Thanksgiving through Christmas.  I returned to our duty station and still had 4 more months to go.  I did our daughters 3rd birthday alone, but it worked out well, we normally felt family birthdays we best until they were school age but since he was gone we did a party with a few friends.  Then it was my husbands 30th birthday, he was gone but we celebrated anyway and had sent him a birthday package.  Then it was Easter and I did easter alone with the kids.  I took them somewhere special and we had fun.  

Then it was time for him to return.  I was afraid our baby would not know him, but it only took a few days for them to adjust to each other.  

On the last deployment I was working and could not go home during the kids summer vacation.  I think I had a harder time on this last deployment because the kids are older now (he was deployed last year, they were 10, 6, and 3 1/2.)  Once again he was gone during our first daughters birthday, he left a month before so we celebrated with him before he left and then again with her school friends.  It was harder in the way that I was working and so could not take them to after school activities, birthday parties, and all the fun stuff they'd normally get to do if he had been home.  I had to say no and I'm sorry a lot.  They wanted to go to the grandparents house once they were out for the summer, I had to say no to that too.  Luckily my family came to visit us.  The kids had to go to two different peoples houses regularly because of my work schedule.  They tried to keep them entertained, but the kids were sometimes there for 12 hours plus, and they had kids too, so it was hard for them to go places without needed an additional vehicle.  It was stressful on everyone.  I'm very thankful they could help me out though.  Daycares are not open for that long, and especially not on Saturdays!  

SO we did not have as much to look forward to on his last deployment, so every chance I got we did things like go to Sixflags or the movies.  It's a lot easier if you can have things to look forward to.  Like in the beginning have them close together, like every 2 weeks, then after a month and a half of that have it be something to look forward to each month.  With your kids so young you could do simple outings, like pick a park that you don't go to often, make it a special park.  Find a routine for yourself and your daughter.  Find things she can do to prepare for the twins (maybe care for two baby dolls and she can set up her own beds for them and prepare their bottles- the dolls not the real babies!  They even make doll diapers, so she can change her dolls and dress them.)  

We also went to build a bear before he left and got each of the kids a bear and he recorded something into each of them.  That really helped the kids when they were missing their dad, they'd go get their animal and press its hand and there was their daddy.

Answer 2

You should try to get involved with your husband's unit's Family Readiness Group (FRG). Many of the NCOs' and Officers' wives have been through a deployment in the past and may be able to help you.

You've got to support your husband's mission (OEF/OIF) AND the troops. We are doing the right thing over there.

-Army Pilot

Answer 3

as a wife a soldier i have been through 2 Iraq deployments. and a overseas tour.  i have 2 daughters 7 and 3. my oldest handled it the way any kid would lots of questions, but now they both understand that this is daddy's job and this is what he does. the key is KEEP your child busy. (but don't wear yourself out you are pregnate with 2) I would suggest the FRG but most of the time they are well gossip queens. if you live on post,  make friends with neighbors, go to mommy and me time at the MWR and you will find that there are plenty of wives who are in the same boat. when you have your babies if you have them on post the dr will give you pamplets of how to deal with a deployment. there is help you just have to find it.  i had 2 thanksgivings and christmas with the best army wives ever!. we are all here for you.. some ideas are...i did scrap books when my husband was gone both times. i made time lines from when he left to when he got home and i presented it with all of the things did when he got home. im not going to lie its tough being away from your spouse but you can and will do it. get a messenger or skype or aol messenger so you can keep in contact with your spouse. take lots of pictures and send them. i kept pictures of my spouse everywhere.  i had my youngest daughter when my husband was deployed the second time to Iraq and i would play my husbands voice to her. another idea is go to your child and youth services center and they should have a list of activities for your child to do and your babies too when they arrive.

Good Luck

Army wife 10yrs