..how about this poem?

Question

i just wrote this. what do you think? any suggestions? oh&&btw i'm 11.

Life is like rain.

It falls slowly down in pieces from the sky.

It goes down and down until it hits the ground.

Then you’re lost. Stuck.

Wait.

Did you forget?

Rain evaporates.

You lift up and climb back to the top.

Everything’s clear.

But you have to come back down again.

That’s what it’s about.

In life there’s ups and downs.

Twists and turns.

Good and bad.

Just enjoy while you’re on top.

:].

Answer 1

it's more like a paragraph broken up into poem form. good message though.

Answer 2

somewhat insightful but a little juvenile

Answer 3

very interesting metaphor.

i like the message, but i think the poem could be better. (thats probably just because i perfer flowing, rhyming poems Vs. free verse.)

very interesting tho, good job