"Adoption is Having Your Own Kid"?

Question

Fact or Myth?

Answer 1

Myth.

After pushing two kids of my own into this world, I can guarantee that adoption is nothing even REMOTELY close to "having" your own.

Now, if you were to say adoption is "Raising" your own kid, then yes, I would wholeheartedly agree.

Answer 2

Fact - my parents are my parents - i am their daughter

Its almost uncanny...I sing well, just like all the women (and some men) in my family.  I look like my mom did when she was younger.  I am JUST LIKE my dad and my gramma in personality...its just almost scary!

Answer 3

Fact.

I did not give birth, but I HAVE two sons!

Answer 4

Fact.  My parents introduced me and my brother as their kids . . . not their ADOPTED kids.

We are their children and they are our parents whether or not they birthed us.  Saying that giving birth is the only difference would mean that a father does not "have" a child.

Answer 5

It's a fact and this is a flame war question.

David, I agree with your second question.

Well, David I see the anti-adoption trolls got your excellent answer deleted. Join the club. To bad others can't read your response now.

Answer 6

FACT.

My daughter IS my own child.  I didn't give birth to her and have never pretended that I did. I loved her and raised her.   Who else's child would she be?

I asked my daughter who's "kid" she was (she's grown) and even she says that she's mine.  

YOU could say that she wasn't my own but it just wouldn't be true.

Answer 7

Adoption is buying someone else's child and cutting them out of the picture and calling them your own.

Apotive parents can even return them if they don't like them.

I was sold so many times I am not even sure who's last name I have.

So many thumbs down... But you know I am right. Your buying children!!!! The thumbs down won't change that... or will it change the lives of those who have been victims of this insanity or will those thumbs down bring back the 25 000 children that died in care waiting to be sold like cattle in the past 5 years.

Sad sad people... where did your morals go..

Answer 8

What is concerning is the possessiveness implied by the statement.  Children are not owned like products.  Moreover, the adoptee has a history prior to being adopted.  This history is owned by no one but the adoptee...although it can be shared.

Answer 9

Fact   and I am not entertaining anymore of these ignorant questions

Answer 10

Depends on the context of the way it is spoken.  

Adoption is having your own kid - if you are referring to pregnancy, etc., then no.  Adoption is not having your own kid because you didn't "have" the child (i.e. give birth).

Adoption is having your own kid - if you are referring to families & children, then yes.  My son is my son.  I have been given the opportunity to care for him, teach him, and be responsible for him until he is 18.  Do I have my son?  Yes.

Does that make sense?

Answer 11

FACT....I wish more would learn that adoptive parents don't "take" a child "away" from their parents.  

What about the child whose birth parents voluntarily terminate their rights becuase they suddenly find their 7 and 2 year old to be an "inconvenience" on their lives??

Answer 12

It's both.  We use the phrase "having a child" to mean giving birth, so adoptive parents don't "have" their kid.   Nor is that child their "own" in the sense a natural child is.  Adoption is, undeniably, raising a child who was born to someone else.  The child will not look like you, "take after you" or "replace" a child you might have had yourself.  To pretend otherwise is to set up a lifetime of tragedy for that kid as s/he tries desperately to be who s/he can never be.  And to deny that that child has another set of relatives somewhere, including a mother who DID "have" him or her, is cruel.  

But nor should that child be loved any less than one you might have had yourself.  Differently, perhaps, but no less.  S/he should be "your own" in the sense that your feel as strongly about him or her as you do any other family member, and want what's best for him or her.  And once legally adopted, you should "have" that child in your family forever, and not disrupt an adoption any more readily than you would ditch a natural child.

Hope that made sense.  I'm having a hard time articulating how I feel about this one.

Answer 13

those are different pains.. you have felt the physical pain of giving birth, and the joy of it, I imagine.  Adoptive parents have the pain of not being able to conceive.. well, at least in our case.  The adoption process is filled with anguish, especially since 1 in 4 birthmoms decide to parent.  Imagine being there at the hospital and being so excited about the baby you are about to receive, and then the dream ends abrubtly.  It's hard.

Answer 14

Adoption is having your own kid after you take someone elses baby and make it your own legally.

Answer 15

Adoption is nothing like having your own child.  It's exactly like raising someone else's child.  

Yes, legally and in some other ways the child is "yours".  For example, you can have the child call you mom and dad, tell the child what to do, make-believe your relatives and ancestors are the child's relatives and ancestors, make the child pose for holiday family photos, take the child to functions and call it "your" child, you can sign the child up for activities that you've always enjoyed doing (odd how the child doesn't have your aptitude for piano, go figure?!), you can make decisions for the child based on what you believe to be good for him/her, and many, many more fun things that will confuse and demoralize "your" child.

Yes, the child will be integrated into "your" family, but that family isn't theirs from the get go, and all the pretending and make-believe never will make it like having your own kid.

Answer 16

I "have" three children.  Yes, two of them are adopted, but if someone asks me about my family I don't hesitate to say "I have three children".  

I would never say, "I have one child and adopted two others."

Answer 17

Fact , in everything except giving birth.  Even then it can be blurred for woman who get donated eggs but carry and give birth to the baby.  

If you asked my parents if they were raising their child or someone else’s child, they would say their child. Thank god my parents are not so close-minded  to think that blood and dna is everything.  My parents have always encouraged me to be myself, and they encouraged the same from my brother their biological son. No parents should expect their children to be like them regardless if their adopted or biological, everyone is their own individual person.  My relatives and past ancestors are my relatives there is no make believing about that.  Sure not in blood/dna but where it truly counts.

Answer 18

Adoption is having a child to raise. I don't own my child. I love her, I take care of her, I nurture her, I support her. She owns herself.

ETA: I am her adoptive parent. Although she calls me mom she knows that and we've never "pretended" otherwise. Her bio mom is the mom who gave birth to her. She completely understands this and loves us both.

Answer 19

adoption is getting your own kid...having implies giving birth.

Answer 20

Hmmm, what a hard question to answer!

Answer 21

myth:

IMO, "having a kid" connotates a process of birthing the child.  adoption involves no birth from the amom.

adoption is clearly a different means of adding children to one's family.