"Are you always this quiet?"?

Question

That's all I ever get whenever I get a new job or go to Uni or meet someone new. I hate it! I'm not an outgoing person and most of the time I'm quiet by choice cos I like to keep myself to myself, so why is it such a big deal to people? I ask people questions when I want to find something out, I spoke when I'm spoken to and I'll speak (or sing) to myself if I have to! I don't understand why everyone say's I'm so unbelievably quiet!

Also, they tell me that I have a very worried looking face that doesn't smile much. I know this -- it's been with me for my entire life. As a baby I had big worried eyes and I never smiled, not because I was ignorant -- it's just never felt natural! How do I change people's perception of me without having to totally change myself?

Answer 1

i know what you mean...i don't really understand why they notice me because i hardly ever see other people talkiing sometimes

Answer 2

There's no way around that other than making small conversations. People will always judge a "book" by its cover till they get to see and understand you. Try going further than say hi. Ask how are you and really listen to them. Talk about the weather, anything for a few extra minutes.

On the other hand, you can try not caring too much what people think of you. People will always pass judgement on you. So long as you are not bothered with the way you are, then don't change for them...unless you wanna change for you.

Answer 3

Not ever having been a smiley person, I've had to deal with this my whole life. Complete strangers have come up to me in shopping malls and said, "Cheer up; things can't be THAT bad!" All you can do is ignore them and go about your business.  I suck at smalltalk, too; I just let them think what they want about me.

Answer 4

A majority of people who are "smileys" are heavy drinkers or druggies.  The world and management and leadership are immune from the interference of the law, pretty much having more secluded places to do their bidding.  But this keeps their moods high and mighty!

It takes a lot to work through real life without drugs and be smiling.  You are aware of harsh circumstances that alchies and druggies can totally ignore/block out!  When you find true hope and you don't feel intimidated by the potential mood swings of druggies and alchies, then you can feel comfortable enough to emote.

You have to watch out, because druggies and alchies can have wide mood swings sometimes!  They can be smilers when they have their fixes, and they can seem like bright stars in a dim world, but look out when they are in between fixes!  You don't want to admit you know them then!  Scarey stuff.

Business is about cut throat though, "Who's the fairest?" away from the mirror!  So be careful.

Just try to find a way to have a neutral smile and work from that.  Be yourself, but give them a little smile, nothing else til you think they really show they deserve it from you!

Life does not always seem FAIR!

Hi!  I am a Forgive Affirmed Spirit and this is what I profess and try to act like.

Forgive Affirmed Spirit is the belief in a way of life that is a method of grief resolution and functional communication processing involving active listenning, sympathy, empathy and affirmation of shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, loneliness and hope...a kind of ego-equilibrium seeking methodology.

A Greater Works of communication and action, a way to learn to love your enemies "Advocating mortal life, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you AS IF YOU WERE THEM!"  



And nobody is perfect!  NOBODY!  We are all judgeable, hopefully in a graceful discerning way!   We are all doing our best every moment!

Humans judge everything  as we are a part of it.  Without difference, we have nothing to live for, nothing to witness.  Sin is difference, the relative seriousness with regards to law and survival of other beings, is punishable by the courts. The best way to judge is with as much graceful discernment as one can muster in a given moment!

Life is the question(uncertainty) asked by the exhaling infinitely compacted imagination invention, or no thing, which is completely certain of everything, completely omniscient or all knowing.

When I die, I believe I will be in a new state, aware of all that is and yet divided into the nature of dust that I am in, whereupon my dust shall fall.  My being will remain an infinite part of an infinite being and infinite knowledge without my material human being status of now. So there will be a change.



But my soul, my passions and discompassions, will move on to infinite places of comfort and challenge.  Able to return to this state of uncertainty and free choice illusion for another ride when it is called effectively to do so.

So that the children of God, the creations of God, .. are actually part in parcel of that God or Creation Energy!

This  life is a roller coaster ride. Enjoy your passion within it and whatever gathering of two or more in Forgive Affirmed Spirit to make it better can garner.

Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine in

Forgive Affirmed Spirit

Answer 5

You can't change someone's perception of you. Just give it time and they will get to know you for who you really are.

I'm the same way; constantly admonished for being "too shy." I've been at the job where I am now for about 3 years, and only in the last year have a been able to be more myself with my coworkers. It just takes time for some people to feel comfortable, and if others can't accept that, then they're not worth worrying about anyway.

A couple of tips, if you want to push your shyness limits:

~ Don't be afraid to jump into a conversation your coworkers are having, as long as it doesn't appear to be a private one.

~ Ask your coworkers random questions.  Really off the wall topics tend to spur interesting conversations. Example? Would you rather explore the oceans or outer space?

~ Use online news outlets to start conversations.  There are an abundance of interesting news sources on the net. Use them to find things interesting to you, and then get your coworker's opinions.

Good luck... the more you push yourself outside of your comfortable little box, the easier it becomes.