"Mothers guilt" why is it so heavy.......?

Question

Mothers guilt to me is that feeling you carry seemingly forever about things or decisions you have made in your life or your child's that directly or indirectly affected the children, or your parenting.

examples for me....

staying for 9 years in an abusive relationship before kicking his butt out.

Falling on top of my daughter while tripping over something in my living room (10 YEARS ago!)

Spanking, once and only once, (9 years ago)

being god awful through my second pregnancy, to the whole family.

dropping my daughter on her head from mere inches off the floor when getting ready to change her diaper.

accidentally smacking my boy in the soft spot with the dog leash when he was 2 weeks old, trying the keep the dog from getting run over.

Just a few, most inconsequential, but they stay with me still. I always say, tongue in cheek, that you never know guilt until you know "mothers guilt."

Do you have any "mothers guilt" stories you want to unload?

Answer 1

When my daughter was about 2 months i woke up to feed her and while feeding her i feel asleep. i immediately jumped up and she had rolled out of my arms on to the floor. i felt so bad and i just my mothering skills needed work. she is now 6 mos and since then very cautious of everything especially feeding her out of sleep

Answer 2

I feel guilt everyday. Guilt because I have to leave them in child care, guilt because I have to work, guilt because I can't spend all my time with them, guilt because I can't give them every d**n thing they want, guilt because I don't have time to cook huge meals, grow organic vegetables, make dressing up costumes, cakes, throw imprompto parties and guilt because I have missed sports day for the second year running. The list goes on! I shouldn't worry too much, at least you allowed them a pet, changed their nappies and you were their to teach them wrong from right. Don't beat yourself up.   You don't meet many guilt ridden  dads.

Answer 3

The only thing I felt guilt on, is allowing my worthless parents to ever have been around my daughter. I gave 2 years of chances, going against my inner notion not to. My daughter hasn't seen them since she was 2 years 9months old. It will be 1 year in just a couple weeks. She doesn't remember them, or anything, but I still feel like I should have never given them the chance to be around knowing what type of people they are. Other than that, there hasn't been anything thus far that has happened.

Oh wait! When my daughter was just learning to walk, she fell and hit her tooth on a surround sound sub woofer! I felt like c**p then. We didn't even think about that ever happening, but it did. She chipped a tiny piece off of her tooth, but it isn't noticable now. We still have the sub woofer...and it still has her little tooth indention. Thats really sucked, and I felt bad for a while.

Nothing yet with our 7 month old. I'm sure we'll have some in store since the kids are still so young...stuffs bound to happen at some point!

Answer 4

my son was born by csection.... when he was 2 weeks old i was still in quite a bit of pain and it was hard to sleep at night so i took 2 of the vicoden that i was prescribed. i fell asleep in bed with my son sleeping on my chest. i felt him roll and woke up immediatley and he was on the edge of the bed. i had the bassinet right tight to the side of the bed so that kept him from falling on the floor but it was a close one. i felt sooooo guilty and still to this day have the mothers guilt. i think mothers guit is carried forever because you know something bad or worse could have happened to your precious baby that you try so hard to protect and care for and it would have been your fault. i try to do the best things i can for my son and when something bad happens and its my fault i just feel god aweful. dont worry though all moms have it and always will!

Answer 5

Oh gosh. Let me get my list. LOL

My oldest daughter (now ten) when she was 4 , got out of the car and placed her hand *just right* on the door (where it opens up by the tire) and I shut it. It took about 2 seconds to realize I shut her fingers. rushed her to the doctor. They weren't broke... but badly bruised. I remember crying for days every time I thought about it. She still remembers that, too.

My younger daughter hit her tooth when she was 2 on the side of the coffee table. Damaged a nerve. I still feel guilty about that. she doesn't remember it. and I refuse to have a coffee table even to this day.

Answer 6

aw hahah!

just look at ur kids and how good they turned out...

see? what you did never did any real damage :]