"No Offence but.." Is it an excuse to be rude?

Question

Do you think that saying 'no offense' before a statement that's actually offensive, is okay?

eg: 'No offence but your really the size of an elephant, in fact an elephant is probably lighter than you' - Uh, kind of offensive.

Is it a get out of jail free card giving us the liberty to be rude, or just a disclaimer?

Answer 1

My Principal just talked to us about that. It is totally rude! I only say that with my close friends and only when it's a joke. don't do that if you want people to like you

Answer 2

I suppose it depends on the person.  Reading and looking at the sentience, i would say it's not offensive.  Kind of like saying, I am not trying to hurt you, but the truth is, you are huge.  An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Answer 3

come on girl, your not stupid you know d**n well its not an excuse to be rude. its a reason. if your gonna be like that then do it, and who cares what people think or if it hurts some ones feelings. i make fun of people all the time but i dont ask them if they think its rude or if they care that im making fun of them. about the elephant thing i prefer calling some one a beached whale lol

Answer 4

To me I think that it is just a way to make someone even more annoyed or angry. But if used like "your shorter than me, but no offense" is a way to not be offensive but saying "no offense but your like half the size of an ant " or "no offense you are half the size of me" that would make it offensive.

Answer 5

Yes! i totally agree with you. I think that people have forgotten what "no offense" means. It's practically automatic to say "no offense" before making a horrible remark which clearly is meant to offend.  

Answer 6

haha. i have a friend who says that all the time and it drives me crazy!! no, it is not a free card to be rude. i think its an annoying expression which makes people think that what they say is not actually as rude but it really is. in my book, 'no offense' is a guaranty that the next words are going to be pretty negative.  just laugh it off and say 'how is that NOT offensive'

Answer 7

I think no offense is more to be used like... No offense but your bra strap is showing... No offense but booger is hanging out your left nose...

Its more like a I want to let you know before you make a fool of yourself that you look foolish and I don't want you to be offended because I noticed.

If someone said  No offense but your really the size of an elephant, in fact an elephant is probably lighter than you'

I would smack them down. its not a get out of jail free card to say something like that.

But if someone said "No offense but that top makes you look... big"  then yeah I'd be ok with that and not buy that top.

Answer 8

I think it's stupid when people say 'no offense'

It just makes them look like they are contradicting themselves most of the time.. Or being a smart@ss

Answer 9

it just means that you don't want to hurt their feelings, but you know you will, so you want to soften it up a little like you feel bad. if you really felt bad, you wouldn't say it, but that's what it means.

Answer 10

It depends on how it is being used.

If a friend was to tell me, "No offense, but that shirt is unflattering, you should buy this one instead." I would see it as her trying to be helpful and give constructive criticism.

But, sometimes it seems like people say "no offense" in an incredibly rude and sarcastic manner that makes what they're saying even more offensive... which I can not stand.

Answer 11

The phrase "No Offence" is used when you are trying to defend someone or something, by being real with the person and tell them something straight out in terms that should not be offensive to the person or persons, but it can be if taken bluntly. By saying "No Offence" you're telling the other person you "do not want to offend or seem rude, but..." It's usually used in a response to something rude or offensive.

If you're not sure if you're using the phrase correctly take it through this test: Instead of saying "No Offense" replace it with this, "Please don't take this as me trying to be rude or offend you but...", and see if you're sentence still makes sense.

You're pretty much defending the truth or pointing out to the person "you're not to prefect yourself" in a polite way.  

But in your example: "eg: 'No offense but your really the size of an elephant, in fact an elephant is probably lighter than you' - Uh, kind of offensive."

That's actually rude and offensive and your actually stacking on to the offense by saying "in fact...". That is not the correct way of using the phrase because you're actually looking to offend the person.

"   'Please don't take this as me trying to be rude or offend you but...' your really the size of an elephant, in fact an elephant is probably lighter than you.   "

Does that really make sense? It's actually somewhat of an oxymoron.

This phrase (No Offense) is VERY situational.

You need to have at least some common sense and some conception of the truth to use it correctly.  

Answer 12

No offense, but you've messed up on your grammar, haven't you?   First of all, you've misspelled your nickname which should be "Infinite Beauty."  Secondly, in your opening "No Offence but..", the ellipsis is incorrectly written.  It should be 3 spaced periods.

3.  There's a misspelling of "offense" as "offence."

4.  You've spelled the same word two ways, when it only has one correct spelling.

5.  You've misused single quotations incorrectly when double quotations would have been proper.

6.  The "eg:" reference is grammatically lacking periods after the "e" and "g."

7.  In your incorrectly typed single-quoted sentence, the "your" should be "you're," the contraction for "you are."

8.  There would be two hyphens needed to be proper, equating to a dash, before your comment, "Uh . . .."

9.  In your adjective for card, the proper way to write the adjective phrase is "get-out-of-jail-free."

Regarding your questions, I have recently used the phrase in a serious exchange in which I did not want to offend the reader, however knew my view was the opposite and had good reason to feel that way.  I wouldn't think there is a blanket answer to your questions . . . whether a comment is taken to be rude has much to do with the attitude, mindset and thought process of the person interpreting the comment.  One would have to assess a comment with case-by-case judgment,  based upon what is stated, the context in which it was stated, the tone and demeanor (if in person) of the one delivering the comment, and so on.  In the example given in your questions, the recipient of the comment would have a choices -- of seeing humor or taking offense, or perhaps speculating on why the comment was made.  Perhaps the maker of the comment is a miserable person trying to make others the same and should be prayed for.  I heard a while back something like, "What other people say about you has less to do with you than with what it says about them," and I find this to have a lot of truth in it.

I have noticed, too, that many people preoccupy themselves with what another person says to someone else, and will even speak up about it to the person commenting, apparently not feeling the recipient of the comment should be allowed to speak for himself/herself.  I am reminded of a Bible verse, and to share it, I just copied it from the e-Bible online:  

[KJV] Romans 14:4   study / save / email verse

4Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

I am reminded that I am Christian (an imperfect one), and that probably this answer has come across hard; if so, please forgive me; grammar is one of my interests and I also believe your questions sounded possibly a bit judgmental toward the commenting person, which we are wise to watch (our being judgmental) because we can be judged also, another teaching from the Word.

Answer 13

no you have to use it correctly for it to really be a valid thing to say for example "No offense but I don't see how this painting is anything special" so basically it shows that you're just giving your opinion possibly due to ignorance or confusion but you dont mea for it to offend anyone...the example you gave is obviously going to be offensive

Answer 14

i think its more of just a disclaimer, although people try to pull it off as a get out of jail free card, which it really isn't..

Answer 15

It is still extremely rude.  "No offense" can only be used when you are talking in general not pointing out someone else's flaws.  

Answer 16

I only let my close friends say that. :P

Anyone else gets treated regularly, 'no offence' or not.

If you have something mean to say, a stupid little prase at the begining isn't gonna cancel it out.

Answer 17

No it is not an excuse. Yes, it is rude no matter what comes after the first 3 words.  However sadly, many people are very rude nowadays and take pride in it. Oddly they get so self righteous and annoyed if someone is rude to them.

I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where we don't have to like everyone or everything, yet are at least respectful and kind to one another...what a concept...

Answer 18

I've always felt that the expression "no offense, but..." was just a way of someone saying "Excuse me, please, I intend to offend you now, so don't pay any attention to me, okay?"

If the person then came out with an offensive statement, I would let them know that they are very rude and offensive.  They should not be saying things like that.

Answer 19

i feel like saying no offense is the stupidest thing ever

i say it sometimes but its usually not to offend the person im talking about...

i also think your example went to quite an extreme.. if anyone said your the size of an elephant i would be offended no matter what! - but i really dont think anyone would say that.

Answer 20

no its not. this is soemone really sarcastic,, but gets scared to tell the truth. if someone is big it isnt bad to tell them, but you really cant be calling people animals. that is really harsh. i would tell someone that they are big an dshould take care of themself

Answer 21

People say "No Offense" before an offensive statement because they don't want or mean it to come out so cruley. They don't want you to take it that way.

Answer 22

No offense is an over used phrase that I'm really tired of. I try not to use it along with words like weird or awkward. Or even worse, when people say 'a whole nother' I've tried asking them exactly what a "nother" is but they don't always get it. I think that phrase is just like saying "just kidding, but seriously". People just need to be more blunt and stop eating around being so mean. no offense.  

Answer 23

Personally, yes.

A friend always uses that term. But it's no longer a, "No offense..." In a kind tone. It's programmed into her. I find it extremely rude and more annoying than anything. Of course, it all depends on tone of voice. Some actually mean it... some, on the other hand don't. And when they don't--it's on the borderline of plain annoying and plain rude.

Answer 24

Well if you dont feel that offended by the comment the other person made then I guess it's alright, but when you do feel offended I guess it is kinda like a get out of jail free card.  

Answer 25

Well. Its kinda like softening the rude statement. Saying that you really don't want to say it, but you feel like you HAVE to tell them. I wouldn't say its an excuse, its just a buffer for the comment.

Answer 26

no not in some cases. but if you use the no offense your the size of an elephant that doesn't make it acceptable

but you say no offense i don't like the color shirt your wearing that is when its okay. things like that...

Answer 27

Well, "no offense but" can sometimes mean the person actually cares about your feelings, and doesn't want to insult you, but in some cases, yes it can be just a way to insult you.

Answer 28

It's a weak attempt to excuse the insults to follow, in other words, it's total BS.

Answer 29

it is just a small trick of language

Is it a get out of jail free card giving us the liberty to be rude,yes that's it .

you are smart enough not to be fooled , people say sth like that is actually attacting other intentionally  

Answer 30

"No offence" is something people just put infront of a very blunt comment because they're trying not to be rude while being rude. Somehow it dosen't sound right to me...

Answer 31

sometimes no and sometimes yes.