"Pearl of Great Price" -- your comments...

Question

O Jewel that rich men cannot buy

Nor prideful learning gather up,

Redemptive Shining Delta's eye --

Wine of the eucharistic cup --

Refuge of the despised and poor,

Soft shimmering grace beyond the door,

Cool water of the thirsting soul,

Pure fountain making broken whole

Fill with thy blood my hungry heart.

Conduct and teach me in thy ways

O sacred seed, for all my days

To harvest, winnow, and depart.

Let down thy silken twist to me

And by your grace, I'll climb to thee.

Answer 1

I do not really know to much about structure and what not. I read the poem for what it was and enjoyed it. It flowed very nicely and caught my attention. It was rich in words and beautiful

I have a work up myself I would appreciate any input

Answer 2

A few very nice lines. Try reading it out loud to yourself though a few of the lines have the stresses in places that hurt the flow (L4 for example).

Oh and drambuie is a liquorice tasting alcohol.

Answer 3

I am please to see your The Pearl of Great Price", although similar in concept, is different then the version written and published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (1841)

I like how you have taken insprartional religious flow and created your own special piece.

I greatly like it.

Peace,

Samantha

Answer 4

Following in the footsteps of the mystics...puts me mind of John Donne.

Beautifully written...

Answer 5

- I've heard the expression 'pearl of great price' but not being religious cannot bring to mind what it refers to...nevertheless this doesn't detract from my enjoyment of this poem.

As folk say, they don't write 'em like this anymore....and more's the pity.   I reckon you've been born into the wrong century.

(I've read this aloud several times - the rhythm seems fine to me - no stumbling, no hesitation or missed beats)

(A!Y - will you please stop telling me I have lots of punctuation!!!! What is wrong with having lots of punctuation? - I'm an old lady and was taught to use punctuation to assist in communication)