"Subjugate" A poem, do you think, comments please?

Question

(have you received your check?)

One stop, Buy it here.

All the wares

your heart desires,

for you, your kids

whole family

as every day is holiday.

Swipe your plastic credit card.

No need to fear,

payment lasts a lifetime,

We'll wipe it clear,

when job is lost

and your on the streets.

Who cares,

we write it off

as our tax loss.

"Money, money, money

makes the world go 'round"

Please don't save,

if you run out

I'll send you some

to spend again

for just a day!

We'll fake it out.

Answer 1

great.work. little quick jabs!  to the Gods of commerce..

Answer 2

Cute little barbette to the bureaucracy.

Answer 3

Overall, I liked and the message is sound and  sadly true. Some edits to consider:  L6- a or is?  L7- do you need "credit card"? L9- (for flow) "lifetime payments my dear"  The last line of the first stanza did not flow well to me. S2L4- maybe (just shout for more)

As always, this is just my suggestions so take them for what they are worth!  One thing for certain, this poem does not lack for it's message delivered.

Answer 4

So that's how the economy works, I was wondering...

Answer 5

I LOVE IT!! You must be referring to economic stimulus.

Answer 6

Cute and ironic poem. Yes, I'm spending mine on gas for the car and cartridges for my printer.

Answer 7

(Yeah - just got mine last week and I'm goin' to hang on to it!) I think that's what got this economy in trouble in the first place. Too much credit (and over extending) floating around.  Consider this happening in the housing market: "Don't worry about the balloon payment on your mortgage.  It is years away.  And the interest rate will not increase too much a year - you'll hardly notice it." Yeah - like h----.  Now look at all the foreclosures. ♥