"That is possibly the worst thing you could ever say to a girl" Please help!?

Question

Without going into too much detail, i was in a relationship for 3 years, and recently broke up with my girlfriend. This was for many reasons, but mostly i was not in love with her any more. It was a mutual (ish) break up.

I have been "seeing" (ish) another girl since we broke up, and she was probably the trigger to my break up with my girlfriend (though not the reason.) Last night she texted me saying that she thinks that we should just be friends, but apparently in a reply i said "the worst thing you could say to a girl ever." I do not know what this is so i am hoping someone can point me in the right direction.

Although being just friends with this girl is not what i am after, i would much prefer it to being enimies. Here is a transcript of the conversation (names changed)

HER "This needs to end. We need to be just friends. I cant deal with something like this right now. Id rather be by myself than seeing someone. not in a harsh way to you, i just dont want to be even slightly attached to anyone right now"

ME: Im so confused. I dont want to be attached to anyone either but i cant help the way i feel. This is ****.

(some more perhaps irrelevant texts, i will write them if you think they are needed)

HER After every long relationship you need attention and hopefully i helped you get over the whole Claire situation a little bit more

ME Yeah i suppose you did although i dont feel as i need getting over it. Dont think i was using you for that. Im not. **** it. What *do* you want? X

HER "That is possibly the worst thing you could ever say to a girl. Please dont contacr me again, youve just proved to me that youre everything you said you wernt"

..

Which part of my text provoked that reaction? I assume it was a missunderstanding but can someone enlighten me. I want to make it clear that i was NEVER using her, and by what *do* you want?, i meant "why do you feel this way"

Thank you

Answer 1

If I had to GUESS it'll probably be this

"Yeah i suppose you did although i dont feel as i need getting over it. Dont think i was using you for that. Im not. **** it. What *do* you want? X"

Because you basically said you didn't need to get over Claire.

Maybe she likes you too but after you said you dont need to get over your exgirlfriend, then she's like "What the h**l, why do you want to hook up with ME then?" She probably thinks you are/will be half-a*sing the relationship. And she feels cheated.

Answer 2

You have quiet a situation here... I think you should have never gone with this girl in the first palce right after your break up with a girl of 3 years thats hectic just to say the least... The text that provoked the reaction was this section here "HER After every long relationship you need attention and hopefully i helped you get over the whole Claire situation a little bit more

ME Yeah i suppose you did although i dont feel as i need getting over it. Dont think i was using you for that. Im not. **** it. What *do* you want? X

HER "That is possibly the worst thing you could ever say to a girl. Please dont contacr me again, youve just proved to me that youre everything you said you wernt"

Yes this was all a missunderstanding I think you need to make it crystal clear meaning but texting her and saying exactly this " I was never using you and why do you feel this way" or call her and tell her so she gets what you saying because the way things are at the moment arent the best for you so I think you should change it but been clear with her.... Good luck with this all...

Answer 3

Something you said obviously upset her. However it really doesn't matter so much "what it was" you said, but rather, "what are you going to do now"? Where to from here?

It would be futile trying to second guess her next move and whatever upset her.

Give her some time alone to cool off.

Then ask her to tell you what it was you said that upset her so much.

She will respect you for asking her.

When she tells you, that gives you the chance to discuss the matter from there on.

Answer 4

so much detailed....

Answer 5

"Don't think i was using you for that" is what i think she was responding to...it makes it sound like you were using her for something else. And then you got a little aggressive with the "**** it. What do you want"...no girl wants an aggressive guy.

Answer 6

its obvious isnt it? she doesnt want attachment and u said "What *do* you want?" its the worst thing cos thats not what she wants. you wanted a relationship and she didnt