"mom, don't kiss me in public"......how to react on this??

Question

my son his only almost 8yrs old (by sep)...as we were walking to drop him on his summer camp...he told me that...

it kinda hurt my feelings and i told him....but he said his a big boy now. how to react on this?

Answer 1

Don't kiss him in  public. It isn't that he doesn't love you it is just not something a kid would want his mother to do in front of his friends.

Answer 2

yeah sounds just like my son,this is a kid who at home hugs me every two minutes..and is constantly saying i love you mom,but when i take him to school or anywhere public he goes "mom please dont hug me or kiss me or tell me you love me"! they are just worried about getting teased by the other kids...

Answer 3

you have to respect his wishes. as a parent, you want to kiss them all day long. but if they ask you not to, you have to listen just as you want them to listen to you. so instead of that fat smooch, squeeze his hand in a loving way, or pat his back or somthing else thats affectionate. and when your not in public, then you can kiss your cutie as much as he lets

Answer 4

He is just growing up. Everyone goes through this stage it it'll be over before you know it.

So don't worry about it, because no matter what he loves you. He just won't show you physically YET.

Every mother and father go through this. I remember when I went through that stage when I was little and I still love my parents dearly and I show them affection. Don't stress about it, he's only 8. :)

Candice

Answer 5

Sad but true, they grow up so fast. We gotta start respecting their space as they are ready to ask for it.

Mine is 11. Tell him you will settle for big hugs, kisses on the cheek maybe once in a while...

Next time his knee is scraped or a bee stings him, nuzzle in quick!

Answer 6

yeah...well its natural

no kid wants their parents to tell them that they "love them" in public

especially at his age when he thinks that he is "grown up"

but don't worry, you can be as cuddly with him as you want... just as long as its not around other people

he still loves you but its hard for kids to admit it

im sorry that it hurt you though

this is evidently your first child

Answer 7

Hello I use to be the same way with my mother. The problem is when we don't see other children's mother kissing them and are mother dose we feel wired. Kids start making fun at you at school. I think you just have to learn to say good by or say something like see you later. but don;t kiss him in public it makes him feel wired.... he will understand later once he is older. Hope everything works out for you

Answer 8

Well, your little boy is growing and developing his independence and a sense of dignity. You can chose to honor it or allow it to cause you hurt.

Answer 9

It's time for public displays of affection to stop.  I know it is hard to see them grow. He has reached the age where it embarrasses him.  Be happy that he has reached that stage at the right age and you are obviously a good mom.  Be proud of yourself.  Sad that that time has passed I know.  The next later on will be he won't want to shop with you as it will be against his new independant nature to be seen with his mom.  Good Luck to you!!!!

Answer 10

He probably sees big manly man on TV and he wants to be like them, so he doesn't want you to treat him like a little kid in front of his friends (even though he is one :]).

You should be proud he's growing up! He sounds so cute.

Answer 11

he's growing up... so of course he's going to be aware of his surroundings and doesn't want to be embarrassed by it.

What my mom and dad did when I was old enough to get embarrassed, is that we made up a code word, or an action that "secretly" meant that. My mom would say "remember to eat your strawberries" and my dad would hold up 1 finger, then 4 fingers, then 3 fingers. 1=I 4=LOVE 3=YOU. It was code talk, which was much more "cooler" than public displays of affection!

Answer 12

My thought is, just respect his wish. He's becoming his own little person now, and wants to have a little independence. I remember when my daughter started all of that and yes, my first reaction was hurt, but then I remembered that I used to say the very same thing to my mom. It will pass. My daughter is now 13 and I'm still waiting for her to stop being embarrassed, but I know the time will come where she will not care what other people think.  

Answer 13

let him spread his wings. If only a little bit. Pour on the love at home as usual. Let him gain some maturity and independence in public. Become a bit more verbal in expressing your love when in public to reinforce the fact that the love is still very present even when in public. When vocalizing your love in public do it very quietly and discreetly.

Answer 14

Of course it will hurt your heart but that is something that kids do. He is getting at an age where he is setting boundaries and what feels comfortable to him. He still loves you and wants to share your affection but kisses from mom in front of the boys are cramping his style.  

Answer 15

Well, it may sound a little mean, but just don't kiss him in public.

there will be time later on, I guess.

Sometimes mothers don't realize that they're treating their grown up children as if they were real babies.

But well, 8 yrs is not that "grown up".

Just let him be

he isn't showing hatred, he's just a little embarrassed.

Answer 16

I think that it's just a phase that will blow by until high school, lol. But it probably means he's trying to impress someone at the camp, you should ask him if he's trying to do so

Answer 17

You don't say if you have a husband or not.  Kiss your husband if you do and tell him see daddys a big boy and he kisses me in public.  See if that works.  Then I would tell him you don't care and kiss him anyways.

Answer 18

good...because it means hes growing up but bad becuase it means hes self consious about what other people think of him and i still kiss my mom in public and im 14 idc becuase i love her and anybody can be gone like that at any second like that

help me..

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 19

mom hes growing up a little boy don't like his moms babying him your heart feels broke right now but you will make it throw it.i have a 10 year old that stopped letting me mother him and my 4 year old told me he was in school now he didn't need to hold my hand and went his way.just talk to him and see if you can meet in the middle on saying your good byes and hellos in public.

Answer 20

Ask him why he feels this way. Once hes answered tell him that you love him and you only trying to show that. Respect him by saying that you wont kiss him in public anymore, but you do love him. Ask him if he wants to make up a sign or hang gesture that you can exchange instead of a hug  or kiss that wont embaress him but will get your point across that you love him. Remember, hes a young boy growing up, hes supposed to be into dinosaurs and fast cars (like his friends) not into kisses and hugs. dont take it personally, he loves you he just wants to be cool in front of everyone.

Answer 21

So don't kiss him in public.  I stopped kissing my son in public when he was 6 ... when he was 17, we had gone to the grocery store together to get some stuff, but were going to separate there.  He'd checked out and waited for me ... then he grabbed me and gave me the BIGGEST kiss ever, and said loudly 'I LOVE YOU, MOM' and walked out of the store.  all the clerks applauded and said they had NEVER seen a son do that to his mom publicly ... and they congratulated me on my fine son.  I'll never forget that ... he's now 32 and has a wife and two daughters, and he's STILL a fine son!  

Answer 22

It's normal.   8 year old's (especially boys) don't want their moms or dads or anyone for that matter, kissing them in public.   There's no reason to make him feel guilty, he's just expressing a concern that occurs during normal development.   You react by respecting that.   Don't take it personally, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you.   Accept that he's older, don't kiss him in public, and move on.

Answer 23

Oh, mommy...You're so embarrassing!!!  LOL!

You're not alone.  It breaks my heart when my six year old is embarrassed by my kisses!

But, it's part of the growing up process, and we just have to let them (darn it).

Answer 24

Hey, I am not allowed to even touch my 15 and 12 year old in public - although just yesterday my 12 year old surprised me by giving me a hug at the school gate in the morning.

When my 15 year old was 11 he asked me to buy him some of those trading cards when I went shopping. I had to go up to his school at lunch time for a meeting and he saw me and came up to me and asked if I had his new cards with me - I told him to please not acknowledge me in public as I also had a reputation to uphold! He was not very happy but it showed him how I felt. I thought it was funny! Of course, I have him his cards.

Don't worry about it and don't get hurt feelings - just feel proud that you have raised your son well and that he is going through a completely normal part of becoming independant.

Answer 25

My son told me that when he was in kindergarten could you imagine how I felt in kindergarten he is now almost eight in August and I feel okay no wI know when I say By to my daughter she runs and gives me a hug and a kiss my though says Bye mom and that's it but I am used to it now it hurt my feelings it broke my heart when he stopped kissing me in public and giving me hug but he is growing up and he does not want his friends to think he is soft he thinks the other boys Will laugh at him

by the way my son still shows me affection at home

Answer 26

Aww Im sorry but it was inevitable. My son turned 9 before school started and on the first day of school I tried to kiss him and he looked at me like I had lost my mind!! He walked off with his friends and never looked back (its a good thing cause by then I had a tear in my eye) that would have been embarassing. My boy still hugs and kisses me goodnight and from what I understand that wont last either. You should feel good knowing that you are raising an independent child even though it kinda feels bad. He will grow up to be a great man because of you so be proud and neber let him see ya cry lol:)

Answer 27

I'm 13 l mean I love my mom but I don't really like it when she babys me in public like that.

I think he just dont want to be called a baby because kids this days are really big on the name calling.

Don't let it get to you he still loves you he just don't want to get picked on.

Answer 28

Don't get your feelings hurt! He is just growing up! I know it is probably hard the hear these things... But it is important to respect him and what he wants as long as it is nothing crazy! By doing that you'll show him that his feelings matter and that people need to respect him. Maybe instead of a kiss u could give him a big hug and whisper you love him. He'll always be your little boy!  

Answer 29

He just thinks he's too old for you to do this in public. There's always a time when your going to have to face facts and realize that your little baby isn't so little anymore. Sorry.

Answer 30

aww don't let it bother you. most kids will act like this. just laugh at it and know your little boy is getting bigger. he wants to feel like a big boy. :)

Answer 31

Respect his wishes.  He's asserting his independence, which he has to do in order to grow up.  It's normal, and has NOTHING to do with you.  (He wouldn't want any other woman kissing him in public, either.  It's "unmanly".)  Don't forget, one day he's going to be getting girlfriends, moving out, going to college, etc.  You're going to have to get over those hurdles, too, and he's not responsible for your feelings about any of it.  Here's some good practice.  :-)