earlier on i got some great feedback on my poem; i've added puncuation, more lines, and better rhyme scheme plus evened out the syllables...so if theres anything else you think tweaking would help please tell me, otherwise you could just read the poem and get 2 points :-p
Before you, life was pain; always trying to
Explain myself to the world- being tricked and touched
And lied to by these other people
Who made my emotions fly;
You make me high on life and love, I
Am trying not to get addicted but
With each dose you send me over the edge
(As if I’m not there already)
I’m not saying I’m dependant
But when im with you I feel heady;
When I’m without you I’ve got withdrawal
Symptoms, my heart goes heavy
And there’s this falling sensation…
Where was your warning label when I was
Trying to read what I was taking?
Guess I’m an emotional junkie-
But every time I try to stay clean
I just end up more dirty;
Five minutes with you and the world stops turning
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