"yes i am sailing" would you care to comment ?

Question

yes i am sailing

the winds like a million hand

pushing me away from her land

neither the weather

ever

became clear

nor did the waves

calm down my fear

that she would some day

be just a memory of a virtual tear

i keep telling my heart

to stay away from love

believe me when i say

in dream world

love is glowing and calling

and lovers like butterflies falling

then again

what good is an advice

for a heart that chooses

to love eternally

Answer 1

aaww the sweetest love poem i have ever read! really my kind of poetry, "love is glowing and calling" the words are so physical yet they create an emotional atmosphere in my head!

Answer 2

This is very good. I can feel the passion in it.

Answer 3

really good potential--needs tweaking in a few places to make it really polished.  The "butterflies falling" doesn't fit as well as your other images--which are really good. Maybe something like this:

yes i am sailing

the winds like a million hands

pushing me away from her lands

the weather

never

became clear

nor did the rolling waves

calm down my fear

that she would some day

be just a memory of a tear

i keep telling my heart

to stay away from love

when all the while

in dream world

love is glowing and calling

and lovers are joyfully falling

into each others arms

then again

what good is advice

for a heart that chooses

to love eternally