**should i attempt 2 contact son's dad?

Question

i got pregnant by this guy i used to date. he broke up w/ me b4 i knw i was prgnt. whn i tld him, he sd he wld b thr for my baby, but shortly aftr, he changed his #s, never saw him agn. i fild chld spprt. they sd they locatd the allegd dad. shld i make an attempt to contact him. or do you thnk my son is bettr off w/o him?

Answer 1

I don't think that any kid is better off without either one of thier parents. If he is not a stand up kind of guy, then just let him know that you had the baby, and it is up to him if he wants to see your son. Don't try to do more than he would for you. I do believe that you should let him know that he is a father.

Answer 2

Let him contact you.  

Answer 3

I think you should learn to spell correctly.

And yes, your son's father should be a part of his life.  You should put your differences aside and be the bigger person and both of ya'll be there to support your son together.  

Answer 4

I think it varies. Every child needs a dad, but if you get child support from him, he has the right to visitation. It all depends on the type of person he is.  

Answer 5

probably better off with out him but you could send the father a pic of his son and leave it up to him to decide if he wants to be in the childs life.

Answer 6

it sounds like he made his choice when he changed his numbers and didn't contact you. doesn't sound like he would be a stable part of your sons life,let the loser go!

Answer 7

Dd u wrte lke ths whn u wre dting hm?  

If so, I'm not surprised he broke up with you.  That could get quite annoying.  

If Daddy can write at the level of the average 6 - year - old, then I would suggest contacting him immediately.  Junior is going to need an adult who is somewhat educated to help him with his homework.  

Answer 8

you know what, for your sons sake, i think you should. he deserves to know who dad is and dad should be given the chance to meet his son.

Once this guy see's his flesh and blood, he may change his tune on parenthood, but he should be given the chance...

I would contact him, just say "here is my number, here is a picture of your son, if you would like to meet him and/or be a part of his life let me know, your son desevers to have a father in his life."

Explain that neither of you planned on a baby, but it happend and now you BOTH should be there to take responsibility. Tell him he dosnt need to be a part of your life, just the babies.

Answer 9

What I would do is contact him only because of your son.

He will have to pay support then will want visitation, (you might want to get some custody papers drawn up)

Try to get along as best you can, you don't want your son blaming you years down the road and saying you got child support and didn't let me know him.

Send photo's and when your son gets bigger some of his artwork.

Treat your son's father the way you would want your son treated if he was in his dad's position right now.  His family might be a big support for you and if you are descent to them contact they might help with bigger expenses later on.

You don't have to be big buddies with your sons dad, but I would try to include him.

Answer 10

What's the point, he didn't keep his word, better off without him & find someone who can be trusted.

Answer 11

let the state find him. sounds like your son is better off.  my first sons father told me i was making it up (the fact that i was pregnant) I let the state do their job and my son is 8 and has never seen him. he is much better off, trust me. you don't want your son acting like his father do you? also in most cases it is a common misconception that if you get child support that the father automatically gets visitation rights, that is not always the case, they stopped that in most states about 20 years ago.

Answer 12

That's up to u.  If I had to chase a man down I wouldn't worry about contacting him because he knew where me and my child were, but that's just me.  If u feel its necessary for u to try, there's nothing wrong with that.

Answer 13

I would contact him and see if he wants to be a part good if not then who cares.  He'll still have to pay child support either way.  And you'll have to be ok with your child going on visitation.  Hopefully he is someone who you would be ok with your child going into the dad's environment.  and hopefully he's a good role model

Answer 14

You have an important thing to do right now. Take care of #1. Take care of you and the baby.

1. Make sure that you stay off drugs, alcohol, and tobacco.

2. Make plans to continue your education so that you will be able to properly care and provide for this child and yourself.

3. Wait for this guy to contact you. He will be notified of where you are and it should be up to him. He's tried to RUN AWAY from his responsibilities by changing his phone numbers. (It seems that way, anyway!)

4. Read all you can about pregnancy, childbirth and child rearing.

5. Find out if your mom or grand mom will give you any type of moral or financial support for you and their grandchild or great grandchild.

6. Finally, pray to God for all the help you need as Jesus (or whatever religion you are) will be there for you always.

YOU ARE GOING TO NEED LOTS OF FAITH AND LOVE.  My prayers are with you.