<span title="Atheists..............could">Atheists..............cou...</span> you help to culminate a list here...?

Question

In order to make Heaven a better seller on the market.....I was thinking maybe people should change it from "the place you worship God for eternity" to something more appealing to the human mind......

what would you say would be a hot selling point?

Answer 1

Hard to top the Muslim martyr heaven and their 72 &quot;raisins&quot; on this one.

Answer 2

If free s*x won&#039;t sell it, it can&#039;t be sold.

Answer 3

The land of free booze and BBQ, s*x available too.  

Answer 4

A &quot;No Christians Allowed&quot; sign posted at the gate.

Answer 5

That there&#039;ll be no fanatical fundies there.

Answer 6

Beer volcanoes and stripper factories.

Answer 7

Its not about &#039;better sales&#039;, its about complete idiocy. Just stop trying to sell it. we don&#039;t want to hear that c**p.

Answer 8

You could make eternity a combination of Belgian chocolate, microbrewed beer and continuous orgasms and it would still be boring after a heck of a lot less time than &quot;eternity&quot;.

Whoever started that whole everlasting schtick clearly had no concept of what eternity represents

Answer 9

FSM sold his paradise via beer and fun

Vegas Casinos on premises-guaranteed winners

Answer 10

I used to think the streets paved with gold and the diamond street lights was a pretty appealing pitch.

That, and everyone had a huge house.

It had a sort of Mary Poppins-esque appeal to it.

Of course, that&#039;s all gone by the wayside. The new improved Generation X Heaven (or is it Generation Y, now?) has been stripped back to pristine white and no furniture, except the huge gilded throne.

I kind of liked it when it was a nicer, gentler version of life, here.

Not enough to buy into it, admittedly, but it did sound kind of appealing.

I used to be glad to think that the nicer of my Christian friends were going somewhere that they&#039;d really like.

Now, I fear for their immortal souls. Eternity in what resembles a bleak corridor. It&#039;s not my idea of fun.

Answer 11

Christians are already doing this for us by proclaiming that many modern amenities will be in heaven, such as the WiiFit™.

Answer 12

The place where Charmin toilet paper is free and you can squeeze it for all eternity

Answer 13

The weather promises to be much better.    

Answer 14

&quot;Open Bar&quot;

Answer 15

free babby

Answer 16

If God ain&#039;t in it I don&#039;t want it.  I suggest you atheists start putting in some requests to Lucifer, I&#039;m not sure mercy is one of characteristics of his nature, but it&#039;s worth a shot.

Answer 17

72 virgins seems to be a best seller.