<span title="Halarious,Funny,Meaningful,Deep">Halarious,Funny,Meaningfu...</span> Quotes?

Question

i want good quotes...not ones that ive heard a million times before and ones that make people think hard or crack up laughing

Answer 1

&quot;If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have schizophrenia.&quot;  Thomas Szasz

&quot;My mother&#039;s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.&quot; - Buddy Hackett

&quot;I sometimes go to my own little world, but that&#039;s okay, they know me there.&quot; - Joel Hodgson

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?  George Carlin

&quot;May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.&quot; - George Carlin

A fly without wings should be called a &quot;walk&quot;.

&quot;The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you&#039;re still a rat.&quot; - Lily Tomlin

I don&#039;t know what weapons they will use for World War 3, but for World War 4 it will be sticks &amp; stones.

&quot;To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.&quot; - Thomas Edison

&quot;Sanity is very rare: every man almost, and every woman has a dash of madness.&quot;

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

&quot;I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.&quot;- W.C. Fields

&quot;Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that&#039;s not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk.&quot; - Stephen King

lots more here:

http://funquotes.witticism.org/