<span title="Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Please">Jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Plea...</span> answer!!!!

Question

Please write down all of the jokes you know. Whoever writes the most good jokes will get 10 pts.

Answer 1

Mines a little nasty but whatever.

A hunter in Alabama is stopped by a Ranger who asks to see his hunting liscence. He shows it to him and everythings ok and legit. Then the ranger goes up to one of the ducks the hunter has shot, sticks his finger up the ducks butt, takes it out sniffs it and says &quot;this is a Georgia duck, Do you have a Georgia hunting liscence?&quot; The hunter pulls it out shows it to him and its good and legit. The Ranger does that for the other 2 ducks the hunter has shot and for each one from a different state he sure enough has a hunting liscence for it. Then the ranger says to the hunter, &quot;Wow you sure came prepared do you mind me asking where you are from?&quot; Then the hunter replies &quot;I don&#039;t know you tell me!&quot;

Answer 2

hahah so this skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop... hahahaha

orrr

the PJ thunderbirds mascot says cawwww (cuz its a bird)

the BCI mustangs mastcot say nayyy(cuz its a horse)

the NPC trojens mastcot say stay safe(cuz its a condom brand)

Answer 3

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, &#039;&#039;What is that?&#039;&#039;

&#039;&#039;They&#039;re smart pills,&#039;&#039; said the other boy. &#039;&#039;Eat them and they&#039;ll make you smarter.

So he ate them and said, &#039;&#039;These taste like c**p.&#039;&#039;

&#039;&#039;See,&#039;&#039; said the other boy, &#039;&#039;you&#039;re getting smarter already.&#039;&#039;

Answer 4

What do you get when you cross a brown chicken and a brown cow?

BrownChickenBrownCow (like bownchickawowwow) from the cologne commercial

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[...

When asked what Britney Spears thought about her new tour she said &quot; I get to go to so many cool oversea places...... Like Canada!

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There was a man mowing his lawn and his neighbor came out looked in her mailbox made an angry face and stormed off. Again this happened 2 or 3 more times&gt; Finally he asked her &quot;what&#039;s wrong&quot; she repilied my computer keeps telling me I have mail but there&#039;s NOTNING HERE!

Answer 5

why make your own

Answer 6

ok

1. wut do you call my grand ma when shes wet..... a water champ

2. i dont know sorry

Answer 7

how bout no

Answer 8

An 90 year old lady that was shaking a lot and could barely walk using a cane walked into an adult store and asked. Do you guys sell vibrators? The cashier said yes we do, but mam at your age? She said I just want to know how to turn it off it’s been stuck in me for 24 hours…

Answer 9

why did the chicken cross the road

to get to the other side!!  

haha that gets me every time

Answer 10

Ah, what do you get when you cross Ice with a Bunny?

A cold hare!  HA!  get it?  A cold.....oh, never mind.

Answer 11

i know alot of joke get ready :P oh n no im not being mean to the blonde i was  blonde  but then i died my hair blackish brownish

1.there was a boy who saw his friend at school he saw his friend has a watch he said well i waited till my dad went to bed so i went to him n he gave me this to go away.So the next day he did the same thing waited until his dad went to bed then his mom has getting into bed with them then the he went into the room he said daddy can i have a watch then he said if you shut up n watch..lol get it his mom n dad r in the room n there having s*x..xD

2.Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says &quot;Darn, I can&#039;t get in the car!&quot; The other blond replies, &quot;keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down&quot;.

3.This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

She stuck her head out and said, &#039;Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...&#039;

4.A blonde, brunette and a red-head were trapped on a island 20 miles from shore. The red-head started swimming and got tired after 2 miles and turned around and swam back. Then the brunette started to swim and after 7 miles of swimming she turned back. The blonde jumped in and swam 17 miles got tired and turned back.

5.A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and asked the bartender:

Brunette: &quot;I&#039;ll have a B and C.&quot;

Bartender:&quot;What&#039;s a B and C?&quot;.

Brunette: &quot;Bourbon and Coke.&quot;

Redhead: &quot;And, I&#039;ll have a G and T.&quot;

Bartender: &quot;What&#039;s a G and T?&quot;

Redhead: &quot;Gin and tonic.&quot;

Blonde: &quot;I&#039;ll have a 15.&quot;

Bartender: &quot;What&#039;s a 15?&quot;

Blonde: &quot;7 and 7&quot;

6.A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had b***s bigger than his mother&#039;s, and asked her why. She told her son, &quot;The bigger they are the dumber the person is.&quot;

The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger &quot;units&quot; than his dad. His mother replied, &quot;The bigger they are the dumber the person is.&quot; Again satisfied with this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.

Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, &quot;Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.&quot;

7.Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.



i have more then more but my hand it starting to hurt :(

Answer 12

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?

A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says &quot;Excuse m&#039;am, could I please see your driving license and registration.&quot; The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says &quot;I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!&quot;

=D  

Answer 13

okay they&#039;re all blonde jokes though:

Q. How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

A. Tell her a joke on Wednesday.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. You can&#039;t, they have always been like that.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?

A: To see what was on the other side.

Q. How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

A. Write &#039;Please turn over&#039; on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q. What do twenty blondes standing ear to ear make?

A. A wind tunnel.

Q. How do you confuse a blonde?

A. Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Q. How does a blonde try to kill a fish?

A. She drowns it.

Q. What did the blonde&#039;s left leg say to her right leg?

A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q. How does a blonde part their hair?

A. By doing the splits.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

A. Nothing, they haven&#039;t met!

Q. A blonde is going to London on a plane. How can you steal her window seat?

A. Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A. Because that&#039;s where your supposed to wash vegetables.

Q. What&#039;s a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?

A. Humpme Dumpme

Q. Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?

A. More leg-room!

Q. Why don&#039;t blondes use vibrators?

A. They chip their teeth.

Q. How does a blonde like her eggs in the morning?

A. Fertilized

Q. Why do blondes like tilt steering?

A. More headroom

Q. Why is a blonde like a doorknob?

A. Because everyone gets a turn.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?

A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?

A. The more you bang it, the looser it gets!

Q. What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?

A. Frosted Flakes

Q. What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?

A. An airbag.

Q. How can you tell a blonde has had a bad day?

A. She has a tampon tucked under her ear and she can&#039;t find her pencil.

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common?

A. They both swallowed a lot of s***n.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A. Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

Q. How did the blonde burn her nose?

A. Bobbing for chips.

Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ***?

A. Brain tumor.

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: &quot;Fun fun fun worry worry worry&quot;

A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?

A. &quot;Way to go team!&quot;

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?

A. FULL

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer?

A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper?

A. So she could lip read.

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A. Pregnant.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and a 747?

A. Not everyone has been in a 747.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between butter and a blonde?

A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?

A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?

A. Artificial intelligence.

Q. What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A. A brunette with bad breath.

Q. What do blondes and cow p**p have in common?

A. The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

Q. How does a blond turn on the light after s*x?

A. She opens the car door.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?

A. When you smack the mosquito it stops sucking!!

Q. What does a blonde say when you ask her what the last two words of the national anthem are?

A. Play ball!

Q. What do smart blondes and UFO&#039;s have in common?

A. You always hear about them but never see them.

Q. Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?

A. Cause it said concentrate.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic?

A. They know how many went down on the Titanic.

Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

A. The joystick is wet.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde&#039;s been using the computer?

A: There&#039;s white-out on the screen.

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?

A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. What is a brunette between two blondes?

A. An interpreter.

Q. What&#039;s the difference between a blonde and a brick?

A. The brick doesn&#039;t follow you home after you lay it.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde that needed gas money?

A. She sold her car for it...

Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A. &quot;Are you sure it&#039;s mine?&quot;

Q. Why do blondes have bruised belly buttons?

A. Because they have blond boyfriends

Q. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?

A. Their both empty from the neck up

Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?

A. A golden retriever.

Q. What do you call a blonde in the closet?

A. The 1984 hide and go seek champion.

Q. How can you tell that a blonde sent you a fax?

A. It has a stamp on it.

Q. What do you call a room full of blondes with PMS and yeast infections?

A. A wine and cheese party!

Q. How do you drown a blonde?

A. Put a scratch &#039;n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?

A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?

A. Oh no, I&#039;m going to fall again!

Answer 14

oh well this is a riddle but its really funny

what is greater than god

more evil than the devil

if u eat it then u will die

but if u dont eat it then ull still die

jump around 3 times, blink and the answer will be there in front of u

i swear it work!!!!!

Answer 15

A man wakes up one morning and there&#039;s a gorilla on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there&#039;s an ad for &quot;Gorilla Removers.&quot; He calls the number, and the gorilla remover says he&#039;ll be over in 30 minutes.

The gorilla remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He&#039;s got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull. &quot;What are you going to do,&quot; the homeowner asks? &quot;I&#039;m going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I&#039;m going to go up there and knock the gorilla off the roof with this baseball bat. When the gorilla falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his nuts and not let go. The gorilla will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.&quot; He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

&quot;What&#039;s the shotgun for?&quot; asks the homeowner. &quot;If the gorilla knocks ME off the roof, shoot the dog!

A little girl asked her Mom, &quot;Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the

block?&quot; Mom says, &quot;No, because the dog is in heat.&quot; &quot;What does that mean?&quot; asked the child. &quot;Go ask your father. I think he is in the garage.&quot;

The little girl went to the garage and asked &quot;Dad, may I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said that Susie was in heat, and to come talk to you.&quot;

Dad said, &quot; Bring Susie over here&quot; He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog&#039;s rear-end with it and said, &quot;Okay, you can go now, but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block.&quot; The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with NO DOG on the leash.

Dad asked, &quot;Where is Susie?&quot;

The little girl said, &quot;She will be here in a minute, she ran out of gas about halfway down the block and another dog is pushing her home.&quot;

Answer 16

Why did the girl eat fireworks for breakfast?

She got a bang out of it.

How about I just give you punch lines

Then on the fourth day, I saw her a little bit out of the right eye!

The bad news is, he is going to be a vegetable the rest of his life!

Call your Mama!

Is this the train to Chicago?

The song I picked out is &quot;Shall we gather at the river&quot;

The General just told a joke, everybody laugh

I better not do it much more, I&#039;&#039;m almost out of arrows

Nah, just up to my chin

You got to chop it before you can pile it!

You dont expect us to eat a pig like that all at once do you?

Finally here is a joke

A girl went to her priest she said I have a sin to confess, I am guilty of this sin daily.  every morning I look in the mirror and I see how beautiful I am and I am guilty of the sin of vanity

The priest said, Dont worry about that, That is not a sin, that is just a mistake

Answer 17

A pirate walks into a bar with a big steering wheel down his pants. The bartender looks at him and says, hey you&#039;ve got a steering wheel in your pants the pirate says ARRGGG it&#039;s driving me nuts.