This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for
years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's
habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would
wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her
gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping
them off because it was making her sick.
He told her he could not stop it and that it was perfectly
natural.
She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he
would blow his guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one
Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner
and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she
had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the
spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl
and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently
pulling back bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his
underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and
the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The
wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor
laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture, she reckoned she had
got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She
bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, "Honey, you were right. All these years you have
warned me and I didn't listen to you".
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting
my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of
God,some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back
in.
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