<span title="Questions................?">Questions...................</span>

Question

Ok, a former friend of mine wants to adopt a child and is in the process of doing so. She happens to be bipolar and is not taking meds, she says its not that bad. However, on a weekend trip a couple of months ago, she threaten to hit another former friend of hers son. They were at the zoo, and the 4 year old boy said "mommy you are a silly pooh pooh head". She told the boy she didnt like this language and threaten to hit him if he said it again. Also while on the road back to their hotel, she threw a fit about having to leave the zoo early, it was raining. She was speeding and swerving alot. The 4 year old mentioned why she was driving like she was and she said she wanted to duct tape his mouth shut. Now when a 4 year old says something about your driving its pretty bad. Do adoption people need to know about behavior like this? Do they do medical checks on people? If so, how would I let them know she needs to take parenting classes and talk to a doctor? I dont want any child hurt.

Answer 1

We are fostering a 6 month old baby boy whos birthmother is bipolar.  It is not good!  Do you know how she is going about adopting?  What agency she is using?  How you could go about telling them of the day at the zoo and the driving.

This is not a good thing.  If she cannot control herself, she should not be a parent.  It depends on the state as to how extensive they get.  I would do everything in my power to make sure that this lady gets help before she becomes a mommy!

Answer 2

When we adopted through the agency, we were required to have the doctor complete a medical form listing any disorders and/or medications.  This information should come out during the adoption process.  However, if it does not, I would find out if possible what agency she is using for the adoption.  Personally, I would send a letter or make a phone call to the agency to voice my concerns.  They may not listen to you, but at least you will know in your hear that you have done everything you can.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Let me put it this way.....would you trust her with your child, totally alone, for the weekend?  (if you have a child, if not, imagine it)

I am that adoption person who has approved hundreds of parents and singles, and also turned a few down!

This is information which she should disclose to the agency and Social Worker!  But will she?  So, yes, you need to address it with her, casually.  Just ask her if that is something she feels like she is going to tell them, or not?  By her response, you can gage whether she will, or plans to.  Then follow upon it to see if she did after the homestudy.

Meanwhile, I would tell her that you can see that she gets stressed out and feel for her.  And that you really want her to be happy and healthy, and want her child to be happy and healthy too.  Therefore, you suggest that she get on her meds and STAY on them so she will be as healthy as possible when she becomes a parent.  By her response, you can once again gage whether she is taking this seriously or not.

If there is any doubt, you can make the choice of telling her you feel obligated to share this info with her agency or Social Worker, or, you can call and tell them anonymously yourself.

You owe this to the child she may adopt.  

Good luck!

(And she may be highly appropriate on her meds!

Answer 4

I am a foster parent, and I had to get a physcial paper signed by my doctor stating that I was physically and mentally capable of caring for children.  Hopefully her agency would make her do that as well.

Bipolar disorder runs in my family.  (Thankfully I was sparred this difficult disorder!)  Untreated, it can cause many problems.  I don&#039;t think she should be able to adopt if she is not willing to take care of herself, and by that I mean she is not willing to take medication!

If I were you, I would probably contact her agency, if you know which one she is using.

Answer 5

This sounds like a genuine concern.  I&#039;d probably call the agency or whatever route she&#039;s going through and give them a heads up.  A bipolar friend of mine is adopting, but she&#039;s managing her illness with meds and is going to be a great mama.

SG

Answer 6

I highly doubt that someone who is bi-polar and refuses to take her meds would be given permission to adopt.  Thank being said, you may want to write a short letter outlining you concerns and mail it to Family Services.  Make sure you leave your contact information as you may have to give a formal deposition, in other words you can&#039;t drop an anonymous note.  Good Luck!

Answer 7

They do background checks, have several interviews with the people who want to adopt, talk to others, etc.  They do ask for medical information, although there&#039;s always the chance in any background check that something can slip through the cracks.

There&#039;s a series of home visits and a couple of office visits (at least there was for me).  I&#039;d think if your friend has mental health issues it is likely to show during one of those visits.  The social workers ask all kinds of questions.  It pretty much feels like a grilling.

An anonymous call to the agency may make you feel better.