(survey) whats the funniest joke you ever heard?

Question

(survey) whats the funniest joke you ever heard?

Answer 1

man meets a woman in a bar

she says 'my name is carmen, because i like cars and men'

the bloke replies 'im charlie beer-f***y'

Answer 2

spell out ihop and say the name of a charater from earthbound (Ness)

Answer 3

I like reading embarrassing moments. Always crack me up.

It was this guy's 18 birthday. His parents went out, so he invited his girlfriend over.

After 1 hour of making love, the phone rings downstairs. Because no one is home, he gives his girlfriend a piggy back down the stairs, not wearing any clothes because they know they're alone.

Before he could put her down, the light switched on and a load of people shouted, 'SURPRISE!!!'

The guy's parents, aunties, uncles, cousins and friends were all there!! The guy and his girlfriend were just standing there, speechless.

From then on, he got no more surprise parties!

Answer 4

A kid walks into a city bus and sits on the front row. He says to the bus driver:

If my dad was a bull and my mom was a cow, I would be a little bull.

The bus driver starts getting mad, while the kid goes on:

If my dad was an elephant and my mom was a girl elephant, I would be a little elephant.

The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets really mad and yells a the kid:

WHAT IF YOUR DAD WAS A DRUNK AND YOUR MOM WAS A PROSTITUTE!?!?

The kid smiles and says:

Well... I'd be a bus driver.

Answer 5

Winston and Leroy are walking down the street, talking about how sick they are of racial intolerance, and they see a sign which reads "We can make You as white as Michael Jackson - Only five quid." They get their money out, Winston has six quid, and Leroy has Four, so Winston says "Tell You what, I'll go in, have it done, then if it works I'll lend You a quid." Half an hour later, Winston comes out as white as promised. "Blimey it worked then, lend us a quid" says Leroy, and Winston says "F*ck off You black c*nt."

Answer 6

lol, listen to this:

so there was a guy who died tragically, and he reached heaven. upon reaching heaven, he saw many clocks with different times and asked god, "why are the times different?"

god then said, "oh, no, son. these aren't any ordinary clocks. they're lying clocks. when somebody lies, it moves. look at the one over there..it has never moved because it is saint terresa's. look at the one besides it..its has only moved twice...its president abraham's."

then the guy asks, "where is obama's?"

god said in reply, "oh, yes, that one. we put that in the office for a fan."

and the other funny one i like is:

yo momma so ugly, when she went to the "who's the ugliest?" contest, the manager said, "no professionals!"

Answer 7

2 birds sitting on a perch, one says to the other... can you smell fish?

Answer 8

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=kdTaYw6dLF...

:)

Answer 9

Knock, knock

We've already got one.

Answer 10

wen my wife read her vows to me