@ the age of 24, why do I have such a restricted life? Why am I cursed with having a restricted life?

Question

***I'm sorry this is so long, but please help me. Pretty please.***

I'll be 25 in a couple of weeks. I can't live a normal life & do things that most people my age are doing. Many people are ignorant & think that just because you're diagnosed with a mental illness, then you need to be supervised 24/7 because they think you're crazy & dangerous. I'm not a danger to my life or anyone else's. I can never do or say anything without being judged as irresponsible, immature, irrational, -OR- illogical, nonsensical, or incoherent. People don't even give me the time of the day. They don't even take the time to get to know me without judging me.

I see myself all alone most of the time. & I feel very hurt & sad that I see even 14 & 15-yr. olds partying, taking lots of pictures, etc. & I think back to when I was that age, & wonder why I was PUNISHED by the abusive foster family ALL the time for NO reason.

& now, I rather be alone, than to be around other people because even if I'm 24, I can't go shopping without people trying to control me, telling me what I should & shouldn't spend my $$ on.

I can't get any friends, I can't get a boyfriend. People tell me, "You BETTER NOT get pregnant!" & my 17-yr. old cousin is pregnant, & because she's ghetto & project, that makes her normal. Because I'm quiet, reserved, shy, "retarded" & "nerdy" (retarded & nerdy, according to others), that makes me a nuisance to society. I'm going to say it again. I'm NOT a danger to anyone or myself. No danger to society.

People think that because my schizophrenic mom took poor care of us, then I'm going to follow in her footsteps. I'm not schizo. I suffer Tourette's, OCD, depression, & anxiety. I have a college degree. A BA in Spanish, @ that. People (family or not) always DEMAND an answer for my DEEP personal business, like "How much $$ do you have in the bank?" But I can't even ask them if they like apples & oranges without being called both NOSY "&" GREEDY!

& people always make up lies on me that's not true. They beat me up & bully me for no reason. I'm telling the HONEST truth. A 32-yr. old lady would give her 14-yr. old project, ghetto niece permission to whip me with a belt, or something. & I call the cops, & the cops threaten to arrest ME! Telling me that there has to be more to the story, or that they don't believe me. They don't let me say 1 word, so how could they not believe me? & they let the bullies LIE & get fake witnesses who were never there to see the situation, to lie FOR them. & the cops make threats to arrest ME for trying to explain MY side of the story. But it's OK for them to let the bullies talk.

Yes, my life IS very unusual & different from the norm. It's not normal to get treated like this. It's not. & since my life is so different, people find it hard to believe that other people would treat me this way for NO reason. Either that, or they falsely accuse me of being paranoid, thinking that I believe others are out to get/hurt me. People DO choose ME to pick on for NO reason! Well, the reason would most probably be because they're afraid of me because of my uncontrollable facial twitching, that's not my fault. I'll be 25 in a couple of weeks, & I STILL get bullied! & when it comes to mental health professionals & family members, they either think it's THEIR place to punish me, or they try to make me punish myself because of their fake & inverse morality.

I feel so defenseless & helpless. & if I blow them off & do what I want to do, anyway, they use threats, manipulation, fake psychology, mind games, & violence to get me to comply with what THEY want me to do. EX: I enjoy swimming. Someone, whether it's family, so-called friend, enemy, mental health professional, etc., would tell me I BETTER NOT go swimming. & because I go swimming anyway, I get locked up in the mental institution because they make up lies on me, saying that I tried to DROWN myself publicly in front of everyone, for attention, which is NOT true. For #1, how do they know what I do if they're not there to see? #2, I just go swimming & try to cool off & have a good time, just like everybody else. But that's what they do. I'm not lying, I'm not making this up, I'm not perceiving this incorrectly, & I'm not asking for any attention or sympathy. I just want to know WHY I get treated so unusually, just because of my uncontrollable Tourette's.

People don't even want me to listen to quiet music with earphones! They DEMAND an answer for what I'm listening to, & tell me "Turn that off. You shouldn't be listening to that!" & if I ignore them or walk away, they say, "Did you hear WTF I said, huh!?" & even if it's a 12-yr. old child, they even treat me like this, & their parents (my family or not) will encourage them to try to knock ALL my teeth out. If the kid gets violent with me, & I call the police, you see the above scenario.

It's not my intention to sound like I'm ranting or venting, but I'm asking for advice. How do I deal with such a strange life like this? Please, please help me. This has me more depressed than ever, & I feel tortured, like I'm suffering. My life is useless & pointless. I'm not feeling suicidal. But I just feel hopeless, like my life is going to stay BORING forever.

I try to live a normal life by applying for a job, & employers lie & say they're not hiring, they tear up my application/resume in front of my face & LAUGH & call me crazy, or they try to say, "I find it very hard to believe that you have a college degree. I believe you typed up a fake certificate yourself & put a fake seal on it. Get the F**K out of my face & stop wasting my time!"

-But anyway, thanks for taking the time out to read & help me out & give me feedback & advice on how to cope/deal with this. My counselor is out for 3 weeks.

Answer 1

I think you would help yourself by getting a job (unless you are happy where you are at if you are working) and moving out of the area.  You need to be independent with new friends.  You do not appear to be 'retarded' at all.  You write very well and should be able to lead a happy life somewhere where people are nice to you.

Write to me if you like.  I care and I know I am not the only one who does.  May God bless you

Happy advance birthday

Answer 2

I do not know your exact living situation but you are 24 and if you are able to live on your own but I have spoken to you already about what you need to do about putting yourself in a "positive" situation by surrounding yourself with 'positive" people.  I don't know if you get SSN or any other type of disability but you should have a choice of a living situation other than the one you are in.  Even if your particular counselor is out for three weeks there are other counselors in the office that you go to that can help you.  By law they are required to give you someone to speak to when you need it when your particular counselor is out.  I know that you counselor is telling you to take "baby steps" but the biggest step that would help you the most would be to get you into a "healthy" living situation where you feel comfortable and people cannot manipulate you.  One thing is that when you do deal with professionals and counselors even though you do have tourettes and mental illnesses you have to be polite and treat them with respect, you'll get a lot more out of them.  Talk to someone in the treatment facility where your counselor is and say that even though your particular counselor is out that you need to talk to someone else "NOW".  You'll get results if you do it in a polite and professional way.  Good luck!!

Peace & Love  :)

Answer 3

It seems like you have the mental capacity to decipher things, but take a look at what you have. You have a BA in Spanish and compared with the ghetto *** people you're surrounded by that is above and beyond than anything that they have achieved. All you need in your life is change, get out of that project environment and move on. It may sound easier for me to say since i don't live your life, but you need to get out of that distructive environment in which you live in. If it takes moving out of your city or even your state DO IT.

If you can't get a job and the employers rip up your application that is in your face discrimination. who are they to say that you are a faker. IF THAT EVER HAPPENS AGAIN CALL 1-800-669-4000 http://www.eeoc.gov/facts/fs-fed.html.

PULL YOUR SELF UP AND FORGET EVERY ONE ELSE, BE A LITTLE BIT MORE COCKY IF THATS WHAT IT TAKES.

GOD BLESS  

Answer 4

I would like to comment to your statement about applying to jobs and people lying to you and tearing your application up in front of you? Did you know that if they do that, and you report them to the labor board, they can get in a lot of trouble. It is hard for me to believe that someone who is a professional and hiring personnel would talk that rudely to you also. If you were behaving in such a way that would cause them to react this way, they would call security and have you escorted out of the building not call you names and accuse you of making a fake diploma.  I think your counselor is out of town, and you are needing to talk to someone. Only you can empower and set yourself free, you and only you.

Answer 5

Time to kick Azz and get out on your own and forget about everyone that is running you down.  Don't your couselor tell you that.  You are supposed to stay away from people that are bringing you down.  Make new friends that are positive.  Move to a different state if you have to.

Jobs ARE hard to get right now, there is so many people out of work and looking for jobs, the employers can be very picky.  You will get by and someday things will get better, you just have to try to work through your difficulties right now and know that it will get better.