...who here thought about divorce after marriage?

Question

I was just recently married on May 2nd and about a month into it my husband had a meltdown and got into all kinds of drugs and became very aggressive/depressed/suicidal. We overcame the obstacles and have moved on from the situation but while all this was happening I very seriously contemplated divorce. My question is...is there anyone else who had to overcome a serious obstacle so early in their relationship they started thinking they may be better off divorced, and if so...what happened? Did you split up, or work through it?

FYI my husband has very serious health problems and battles occasional depression and addiction to prescription drugs, but he's working very hard to overcome his issues.

Answer 1

I have. And I think this is fairly normal, for some reason alot of people don't show you who they really are until you are married and as a result we as wives are shocked and dissapointed. But I have worked through my problems and still am. i've been married for less than two years and we have had to overcome many problems. But I value the vows I took and am willing to do alot to save my marriage.

Answer 2

your husband is experiencing a serious identity crisis-i have married 3 times,and in my personal experiences their are things called "attachment deficiencies"-they think "you" are "their" world,they realize you are human,you cannot accomodate the the void even though they demand it,

You, in the meantime are spiraling trying to help his identity crisis to come to an internal treaty,you fail,you constantly give up a part of you to "comfort" him-well stop it-the best thing you can/say/do is nothing-yes walk away, keep YOUR identity-the masculine force will attempt to keep you captured but with neutral emotions you should be alrite,think with your head,NOT your heart

Answer 3

in the first 4 months of my first marriage, I was going to divorce him, but then I was stupid :and stayed for a total of 5 years!

Answer 4

I really want to answer you but putting this sort of stuff on line is just not really something I want to do but yes it does happen

The stress in the first UP TO 3-7 years of marriage is tough tough tough so hang in there, you all do a recovery program and my advice is to get involved in a church as well as just communicate communicate communicate.  Also, do NOT have children right now it does not make things easier in your situations and if you had a meltdown then you sure will have one if things are unstable but you ad a child to the mix

Hope I am helping a little bit and I wish you much favor!

The DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS OF EVERY SINGLE SITUATION SO YOU HAVE TO FIGHT THE ENEMY  

Answer 5

I married a man with 2 kids. The ex wife was controlling, rude and disrespectful to both of us. The kids in turn didn't treat us well. Long story short, we got custody of them and they knew nothing about discipline, respect or kindness. My husband didn't know how to be a father but he was a "dad". I knew they needed some guidance so I tried. After counseling (only a few sessions) we both learned that I needed to stay out of it, my husband needed to be a father and the kids needed to learn how to be socialized. It did come d**n close to breaking us up though. The kids are adults now and on their own. The daughter appreciates me now that she's a mom but the son has moved back in with his mom (he's 19) and is still a rude t**d.

Answer 6

just break up & contact 9215188990

Answer 7

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Answer 8

look, from experience. divorce him before you get pregnant. i don't know how old you are, but i have been married forever and have gone down the same path. its a horrible experience. except for my children, my marriage sucked the life out of me.

run for your life. he is not going to get better. he will be like a dry drunk/junkie when he is sober and be a real prick.

i tried everything to work it out. after owning our own businesses and having homes and childrens, well, you just can't split all that down the middle, so i have tolerated a S****y miserable marriage for these reasons.

if you are self sufficient, why do you need to take his c**p?

life is short, so play, love, be happy, but don't be his nurse maid for the rest of your life. you will regret it.

they never get better, there are just periods of happiness, but they are short and few apart.

if he is depressed. forget it now.

mine is depressed and bi-polar and you don't want to know anymore! run! quick!

Answer 9

If you got married in May...you are not done with the fallout from his meltdown. Problems the first year of marriage are normal...it is certainly an adjustment.....but how much are you willing to go through?  

If he is really abusive...cut your losses. This is a precursor to the rest of your life with him....

Good luck...May you and your hubby find true happiness

Answer 10

When you decided to marry him and take those vows you promised to be with him for better or for worse, not saying you should never get a divorce but you shouldn't give up so soon. Relationships are work and you decided to make that commitment with him just not for the good time but for the bad times too.

Answer 11

how did  you husband behave before you 2 got married ?

this is important

if you feel that you have been cheated cux he is not the guy before your marriage  , then just go straight to divorce him , but if he is still him ,and the recent problem is not entirely his fault , i think you should not be so reckless , just calm down to see if you can work toward ,and solve the problem together , cuz it is quite possible that you 2 are in the period of getting along  with each other , and began to discover the defects ,so just be patient  

Answer 12

why would you leave your husband now that he needs you the most. If youre in his situation would you want him to leave you.

My husband wants to divorce me and we just got married. Every single fight,he mention divorce. I guess im getting into his nerves knowing he have me for the rest of his life. Im just being patient and wont let him go. Even he hurts me everyday. One have to be strong and patient in able the marriage to last. But if i see that my husband doesnt really want me anymore then ill let him go. I might just kill myself for me not to suffer from the pain.  

Answer 13

think about your vows, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. you made a committment to each other. the first year is always the hardest especially if you didnt live together to begin with. i caught my hubby 4 months into our marriage doing cocaine and had NO clue what so ever that he did that. when i caught him i wanted to just DIE. i thought bout divorce (and killing him!) but we worked through it and he hasnt touched the stuff in 7 years. your hubby needs help and your support and love. hes ill. dont give up just yet. hang in there. marriage is not always what its cracked up to be. its hard hard work, everyday.  if you give up on him he might do something bad to himself but at the same time if hes abusive towards you then you need to get professional counseling because no one wants to be abused especially by the one they love.  girl, i wish you both didnot have to go through this. i wish you all the luck in the world. take care  

Answer 14

wow, you have not been married long.

for better or for worse is what the preacher says,

but as for me I have been married for about 2 1/2 years and my spouse is a major liar. On the phone with other people to the people she loves, to me... If i got a divorce it would be because of all the lies.... and it's every day pretty much every time she opens her mouth...it's driving me nuts!

Answer 15

and you married him why

Answer 16

i got married feb 4 of this year . shortly after we started having problems, crazy arguments my heart just couldnt take it anymore. we seperated for about 2 months. After those 2 months i realized i made an  oath to god by promising forever. so i came back to him. and were trying again, things have been better than ever, i think time heals. But with the situation hes in it may be alot harder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope he overcomes his issues and for you sticking with him through it i give you credit! strong woman!

Answer 17

Did you know about his addiction and problems before you married him? If so, then you can only blame yourself.

I had a problem in my relationship, I first thought, why the f*** do I need this, but then I decided to go through with it, and  it made me a lot tougher, I don't know if that's for better or worse