♥ What should I do? Husband is deployed?

Question

♥ My husband is in the Marines and has been deployed to Iraq. He was home for two months and than went back to Iraq. The first time he went when our daughter was 2months old. We have a daughter who just turned two today and she asks everyday where her daddy is. I try to explain to her that he is over in Iraq and that he will be home soon.

♥ She has a special bear that she got from her daddy right before he left and she loves it. Lately, she has been waking up crying for her daddy at nap time and at bed time. We have tapes that my husband made her of him reading her books and we play those at nap time and bed time.

♥ Is there anything else that you do to help your kids get threw deployment? Any ideas of things I can do? Its so hard being home with her by myself and being pregnant has been hard too.

Thanks for the help

Answer 1

January 20th, 2009 we will have a new CIC, maybe then this madness will end for these brave people who have to go. I am not opposed to war but in some cases it is such a waste.

Answer 2

They make these things called "flat daddies".  I know, the name sounds crazy, but its a great idea.  What it is, is a life size poster of your loved one, they put it on cardboard and make it so it stands up.  They can be really comforting to kids because it is an actual life size image of their dad, they can talk to it, hug it, play with it, whatever they want.  Here is a website you can order them, along with some success stories of people that have used them during deployments.

http://flatdaddies.com/

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/09/30/us/30d...

Hope that helps, I am a military spouse myself and know how hard deployments are.

Answer 3

Like one answerer before said, say a daddy prayer at night.  That's good that you are doing the bedtime story thing.  Go to support groups for yourself.  Don't try to fly solo here.  

When my 2 year old asks "where's daddy"  "When Daddy coming home?"  "Can we go see daddy mommy?", I tell her, that daddy will be home soon, but not today or tomorrow.  We look through a scrapbook at pictures of daddy and watch home videos with her and her daddy in them.  Our 5 month old is too young to realize much yet.  But my 2 year old is such a daddy's girl.  Contact your ombudsman and ask about support groups.  Even if it's just getting together with another military wife and talking a couple of times a week.  It's tough I know.  

My husband is in the Navy and is gone for 6 to 8 months out of the year every year.  I know how you are feeling.  Hang in there hon, he'll be home soon.  

Answer 4

Hello Mommy,

Thank you for your sacrifices!!! Give your little girl a kiss from me too.

sometimes playing the movies right before bed can stimulate senses she has in her dreams which the feelings of him not being there are starting to cause her some grievances.  So play them after she wakes it would be better then.  

Start a new night time prayer ritual it will help her and calm her before bed.

We do

Our Father prayer...

then

God Bless mommy and daddy, her name and grandparents names and all the little boys and girls everywhere. (you can add a few people not too many though it is hard for a little one but the most important people make this important)

then

Angle of God My Guardian Dear to whom God's love Commits the here ever this day be at my side to light to guard to rule and guide.

Sounds crazy don't know your religion but after a week see if you notice a difference with your own night time ritual.

Thank you and your family:)

Answer 5

His unit has a family adviser that can help you. Talk to the CO's/XO's wives.

They have a support group to help you get through his deployment.

Don't try to go through this by yourself!!!  There are wives/family members going through the same thing....everyone in the group benefits from everyone else's experiences.